Jeno

It was a day before my birthday, as I remember. Another typical of January, that evening it rained really hard. Grunting to myself since I have to wait for several hours to finally get back home, I was looking at the hallway of parking lot when our eyes met. It was a deep brown eyes which shows a slight wrinkles when he smiles. I can feel myself not blinking for few seconds. He smiles at me and get inside his car. That was the first day I saw him, that was the first day I thought I fall for Jeno.

Jeno is a great guy. He was like a popping candy which surprise you everytime. He is not just smart, but every single thing he do seems so flawless. I happened to finally know each other trough Sophie. He was a new team member in her department, which makes me so jealous yet also happy because I can trust Sophie to dig as much information about him as I wanted.

I could tell you Jeno likes politics as much as I love soda. He is 5 years older than me, but he likes Captain America more than anyone else. He speaks Chinese really well, since he used to study there for a year. He plays piano really well and surprisingly he is a great cook. He does not talk much, but he smiles a lot. Jeno has three Siamese cat; Brown, Green, and Orange which is also his favorite color. I think I like him even more, because he looks so awkward when he talks to me and I think that's kinda cute.

That Sunday afternoon, I was typing my Weekly Journal when he walks to my desk and cleared his throat. He throw that wrinkly-eyes-smile at me and I can't help myself but screaming loudly inside. "Umm.. Hi!", he said.

"Oh.. um.. Hi Jeno! What brings you here?"

"Well.. nothing. Just passing by and wanting to say hello?"

"Umm, okay! Hello?"

He giggles AND I SWEAR I FEEL LIKE I AM IN HEAVEN NOW!

"Yes, anyway you have plan on the next weekend?"

IS HE GOING TO ASK ME FOR A DATE?

"Well, if you going to treat me some good stuff then I have to consider that I don't have any plans then..", I swear I am going to cry right now. I swear my voice is shaky now. I swear I want to hide my face right now.

"No problem then, I pick you up at 7 next Friday?"

"Cool!"

I AM GOING TO A DATE WITH JENO. YES. I AM.

That next Friday,

It took me more than 3 hours to get ready. I am not usually do make ups when I am going out, but definitely not today. I wear my heels instead of my worn out flats, and yes.. looking at myself in front of the mirror with this little black dress and ponytails, I guess it's enough to show Jeno how excited I am to show the best of me. He come right on time at 7, and what I saw that night probably one of God's most beautiful creature. Jeno didn't brought any flowers or chocolates but just by seeing him with that navy shirts and throwing that wrinkly smiles on me once again, is more than enough. "Shall we?", he said. My lips can't stop smiling. I slightly nod. Tonight will be great!

Jeno has a great taste of music. He plays Jazz troughout our way to the restaurant. My heart thumping like crazy. "So.. why you.. suddenly take me for dinner?". OH MY GOD, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Jeno looks a bit surprised.

"Ah, just.. I have something to talk to you. But let's talk about it later while we eat. I'm quite hungry right now, I don't think I can talk much."

He slightly laugh, I am blushing. "Well okay, me too. Remember your promise, you treat me tonight, ya?!"

We arrived at Farfalle, let's say it was one of the best spot for couples in my area. The setting was perfect, so do the ambiance, the food, and for tonight, the partner is also perfect.

"So.. what was you trying to say?". I bravely open the conversation.

"Umm, actually I want to talk about Kris. He is your subordinate isn't he?"

"Kris? Yes? Whats with Kris?"

"Are you close?"

"What do you mean by close? He is my subordinate so.. well.. yeah? We are close."

There was like a gear inside my head which keeps rolling. What's with Kris? Is he jealous because he thinks I am with Kris? Come on, Jeno. You looks so adorable and awkward right now.

"No, I mean.. do you have any relationship thing with-"

"No, I am not. He's just my subordinate. That's it."

Jeno breaths deeply and slightly smile. "Thank God!"

My pupils are shaking, my heart is trembling wanting to know what he's going to say next.

"I thought he is your boyfriend."

"No, once again he is just-"

"Because I thought I like him, he looks cute and I wish you could introduce me to him if it is possible?"

Wait, wait, wait. 

What?

Like? Cute? Introduce?

"Um.. wha- what do you mean?"

"Well, I am glad I know you because I thought I will never get to know Kris forever. Ever since I joined the team I already had a crush on him but I thought you both have a special relationship. That is why I brought you here to clarify everything and if possible to let me know him more?"

No, Jeno. 

You don't.

***

Hello! How's the fanfiction?

It's been a while since I write a fanfiction.

Hope it surprise you well!

Mau nggak mau, harus tetap memilih

Berdasarkan post terakhirku,

aku sudah memutuskan.

I AM NOT GOING.

Setelah pemikiran panjang dan berbagai pertimbangan, aku tidak akan berangkat pertukaran pelajar ke Korea *Boooooo~* Kenapa? karena ini mungkin memang belum saatnya. Tapi, 2 tahun lagi PASTI! PUASTI! Aku bakal pamer-pamer foto begitu kakiku pertama kali menginjak bandara Incheon di musim semi Seoul 2015. Berharap aja dunia belum kiamat waktu itu, dan Korut berbaik hati nggak jadi berusaha ngehancurin Korsel..

Tapi sedih? pasti sedih. 

Iri tau ngeliat kakak-kakak kelas yang udah siap magang ke Korea, Juli nanti berangkat! 

Barusan juga liat video dari HighStreet Fosho waktu ke Korea gara-gara menang BigBang contest design Samsung galaxy note 2. 

Well, i'm not a big fan of BigBang, tapi tetep aja iri. Perasaan aku juga sering ngikutin semacam lomba yang sama dengan sistem "Like" entah dimanapun, mempertaruhkan malu dan nggak peduli dianggap freak. Tetep aja, i have no luck at all.

Sebagai pelampiasan, saya memutuskan untuk memborong SHINee and Infinite stuffs. Akhirnya setelah pemikiran yang panjang, aku tinggal menunggu kehadiran pacar-pacarku..

L's Bravo Viewtiful..

Infinite New Challenge..

SHINee Why So Serious: The misconception of me..

Yang tentunya menghabiskan cukup banyak uang, 

dan sebenarnya juga agak menyesal kenapa nggak dipikir lagi

-______-

Dan yang paling buruk.

Disaat aku memutuskan nggak akan beli apa-apa lagi setelah semua barang ini, munculah secercah sinar di timeline twitter. Penasaran apa, akhirnya aku baca..

"SHINee to release photo travel essay 'Surprise Vacation' on May 25th"

Rasanya seperti dimutilasi *eh* 

SEDIH SEKALI! AKU MAU SEKALI! TABUNGANKU TERTAWA KERAS SEKALI!!!

OH TUHAN TOLONGLAH!

Aku cuma ingin bertemu dengan mereka. SHINee, Infinite, Myungsoo, Kibum. Mungkin aku sudah nggak bisa lebih lama lagi bersabar dan menunggu. Tapi aku juga nggak akan pernah tau apa takdirku. Apa mungkin beberapa bulan lagi akan ada keajaiban seperti yang aku selalu harapkan setiap hari, setiap detik, atau malah mungkin 10 tahun lagi aku bakal jadi seorang ibu-ibu yang masih tergila-gila dengan Kpop walaupun sudah bersuami dan ber-anak. Anak-anakku nanti juga ikut freak gara-gara niru kebiasaan mamanya yang suka teriak-teriak sendiri waktu nonton om-om Korea di TV. Suamiku juga cuma bisa geleng-geleng kepala dengan sedikit penyesalan. *ketok meja*

Begitulah..

Semoga sekarang aku cuma memupuk kesialanku menjadi suatu keberuntungan nantinya ya :')

Bisakah?

Andai hidup nggak harus memilih.

Sedih ya rasanya digantung, apalagi mengingat hal yang "digantung" itu adalah suatu hal yang benar-benar kamu inginkan.

Rasanya baru Jumat kemarin, saking bahagianya aku nggak tau otakku lagi lari kemana. Aku terlalu bahagia, sampe air mata terus ngotot minta keluar. Mungkin buat sebagian orang ini terlalu berlebihan, well i can't say anything soalnya mereka juga nggak bakal ngerti perasaan yang campur aduk macam apa yang aku rasain.

Setelah menghapus pilihan studi ekskursi ke korea nanti waktu semester 3 dan mentah-mentah ketolak ASP ke Busan (Belum cukup umur. Sedih.), aku udah jadi kayak anak ayam kehilangan arah. Aku nggak tau harus kemana, dan aku merasa berhenti gitu aja. Nggak ada lagi mimpi. Mustahil.

Tapi tiba-tiba, Jumat kemarin Tuhan seperti datang membawa berita bahagia "Paulina, dengarkan Saya.. Aku memberimu kesempatan untuk meraih mimpimu.." Lewat sang ibu dosen, disampaikanlah berita bahagia tersebut. Akan diadakan pertukaran pelajar ke Solbridge School of Business, Daejeon, Korea Selatan. Syaratnya, mahasiswa angkatan 2012 dan harus lulus seleksi. Seperti post ku kemarin, ketika hujan turun aku belum siap dan mati tersambar petir.

Bener-bener aku reflek jejeritan nggak tau malu, nggak peduli seberapa banyak orang yang denger di satu ruangan konfrensi waktu itu. Yang aku tau cuma, disitu ada kesempatan. Tapi perasaanku terlalu campur aduk..

Kalo mahal gimana?

Kalo sulit nerima pelajaran pake bahasa inggris gimana?

Kalo tiba-tiba nggak keterima?

Kalo pelajaran di surabaya keteteran semua?

Kalo ini kalo itu..

Akhirnya kuceritakan masalah ini kepada sang ibunda dan beliau hanya manggut-manggut, bertanya sepatah dua patah kata dan tidak memberi jawaban apa-apa. Sekarang aku galau dibuatnya.

Menurutku mestinya Daejeon nggak semahal Seoul, soalnya kan bukan pusat kota. Kemarin sih juga udah sempat cari-cari dorm via internet. Ketemu yang lumayan murah-murah juga. Cuma emang untuk masalah makanan, Korea agak mahal. Tapi nggak makan juga nggak apa kok, makin kurus makin hepi. Transport juga nggak terlalu mahal mestinya, 60.000 rupiah per hari sama kayak pergi ke kampus dari rumah naik taksi. TOEFL? Bisa lah.. masak nggak bisa?

Yang bingung sekarang aku dihadapkan pada dua pilihan. Mau sekarang pertukaran pelajar 6 bulan, tapi semua pelajaran keteteran atau nunggu 2 tahun lagi tapi menetap di Korea 1 tahun? 

Andai hidup nggak harus memilih..

aku pasti pilih dua-duanya..

Marrying Fantasy.

I am not a princess who will always get what she wants.

I am struggling for what i wanted, i do anything to get it.

But i guess i just have no luck at all.

Luck does not come every time. Luck is just luck.

And when luck comes like rain, i haven't prepared.

Dead by thunder.

People say you can live without money, but huh?

seriously? NO.

You live with money, you need money, people go crazy because of money..

And if only i'm that lucky to be the one who owns billions of money,

Probably i'm not this nuts.

Pathetic how i'm just marrying my fantasy.

Reality doesn't exist anymore for me.

I'm dreaming about him -who doesn't even know that i'm exist- to be mine.

I feel like hitting my own head to the wall really hard,

or i need a psychiatric.

I wonder why i have tons of friends but i always feel alone.

I wonder why i can't laugh without any burdens.

It goes the same all the time and i have no answer.

You know what they say,

What hurts the most is being so close and everything seems so close yet so far far away..

Still a long way to dream, still a long road to go

Fangirls are all the same

Hari ini aku pecah rekor, tidur jam setengah 4 pagi. Semalaman suntuk saya nggak tidur. Baru aja bentar memejamkan mata, si Myungsoo sudah bernyanyi "I love you neorul saranghae.. jamahaji mothan mal.." Gila-gila-gila! Aku benar-benar mulai tidur waktu alarm pagiku bunyi. CONGRATS YAH PAO! :*

Alasan kenapa aku nggak tidur? Nonton. Setelah dapet referensi film dari Candy, youtube langsung jadi sasaran utama. Kenapa aku jadi tertarik nonton? Karena begitu nonton film itu, Candy bilang langsung keinget sama aku. Well, perasaan semacam ini sungguh sulit di deskripsikan dan tentunya bikin aku penasaran, emang kayak apa maksudnya?

Film itu judulnya "Dream Street: The Biggest Fan". 

There's a lot of moment that makes me almost shed a tear. 

Setelah nonton Reply 1997 dan film ini, aku semakin menyadari sesuatu... 

Fangirls are all the same. 

Aku merasa normal, karena ternyata bukan cuma aku yang merasa diriku aneh soalnya terlalu nge-fans sama idola sampe segitunya. 

Aku merasa normal, karena bukan cuma aku yang teriak-teriak tiap kali teaser baru muncul. 

Normal, karena bukan cuma aku yang merasa tiap kali denger lagu dari idolaku badan ini langsung kebelet nari dan mulut ini ingin ikut nyanyi.

Normal, karena di setiap doa nggak pernah terlewat kata "Semoga mimpiku bisa jadi kenyataan",

Nangis sendiri di kamar gara-gara nggak bisa nonton konser,

Bicara sendiri sama poster di kamar, even say good morning, good night, hati-hati..

Sirik sama orang yang bisa lebih "mbelani" sama idol itu daripada diri kita sendiri..

SAMA.

Setelah nonton film itu, saya jadi semakin bermimpi. Gimana kalo memang bisa hal yang kita pikir nggak masuk akal tiba-tiba jadi kenyataan dan semuanya masuk akal?

With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains?

Nyesek

Hidup adalah suatu realita yang tidak pernah bisa di duga. Kadang apa yang terjadi pada diri kita juga cuma bisa dilewati dengan senyum getir, mau gimana lagi kalau memang apa yang kita mau nggak sejalan sama kenyataan yang ada?

PINGIN TERIAK!

Nemenin Papa beli jam, kenapa hidup begitu kejam?

Apa yang aku lihat dan akan ceritakan setelah ini begitu menyayat hati.

Hobi ku tiap kali ke mall cuma satu, toko buku. 

Oke, aku nggak suka baca buku dan cuma tertarik sama buku-buku korea dan komedi. Tapi toko buku menjadi tempat wajib kunjung tiap kali ke mall. Nah, akhir-akhir ini list tempat wajib kunjungku nambah satu, toko kaset. Aku nggak tau kenapa, tapi rasanya selalu ada panggilan buat mampir toko kaset.

Begitu pula dengan hari ini..

Aku mampir ke sebuah toko kaset di Grand City Mall, Surabaya ketika kakiku melangkah ke rak album-album Kpop dan mataku tertambat pada 2 buah album.. ya.. 2 buah.. Seketika waktu berhenti, kaki melemas, semua menjadi gelap dan aku ingin teriak *maaf alay* SHINee DREAM GIRL!

THO.. LONG.. A.. KUWH... MAMAH!!

Satu hal yang semakin membuat aku hancurs adalah album itu ternyata ada di toko kaset lokal dan harganya jauh lebih murah daripada di online shop. DANG! Guweh ketipu 160 ribu di online shop sialan, kurangajar, sinting, gak tanggung jawab, gila, pingin ku caci maki yang punya dan di toko kaset itu harganya bahkan lebih murah, mamen! 150 ribu aja! Sedih.. BANGET. Pada akhirnya, aku memutuskan untuk tetap tidak membeli, karena hatiku sudah terlalu sakit mengingatnya. Hiks.. hiks.. hiks.. sampai jumpa Dream Girl ku, kalo kita memang berjodoh, suatu saat kau pasti jadi milikku :')

Aku ingin albumku, dengan uangku yang dulu.. apa itu terlalu susah untuk diwujudkan?

BENA!

Indonesia memang sangat reachable buat kenalan-kenalan sama pesohor di dunia entertainment maupun tulis-menulis. Maaf kalo lagi-lagi saya kampungan, tapi sekali lagi saya berhasil mengudara! Kali ini tak lain tak bukan bersama bang @benakribo. Cihuy!!

Ceritanya nih abis baca bukunya, aku ngepost deh di Instagram foto bareng Benabook. Bukunya emang attractive banget. Mana ada bonus kacamata *eh, pembatas buku* pixel lagi. Eh.. barusan aja aku pulang dari kampus terus buka bluestack, bang Bena nya nge like foto saya. Bahagia..

Cekidot cekidot. Yuhuuuu!!

Aku emang pake bluestack buat make aplikasi-aplikasi android di laptop. Maklum, masih sedikit kurang gaul belum punya android atau gadget bermarga i gitu-gitu lah ( iNgusan, iLeran, dsb)

Nanti-nanti aja ya :D

Sekalian ngereview buku ini. Awalnya aku beli otomatis gara-gara tertarik sama covernya. Don't judge book by its cover nggak berlaku kalo kamu emang berencana cari buku yang menarik. Begitu tertuju dengan nama pengarangnya kayaknya nggak terlalu asing. Benakribo..

OH IYA! SI NYONNYONNYON! 

Aku suka banget main game di sana 

tapi gara-gara terlalu susah aku tinggal..

Setelah baca sinopsisnya akhirnya dengan uang seadanya di dompet aku memutuskan untuk beli.

Sesampainya di rumah,

Kubuka perlahan sampulnya, dan.. alangkah indahnya melihat serangkaian tulisan berpadu indah dengan ilustrasi-ilustrasi menarik. Overall, buku ini menceritakan kisah-kisah bang Bena sendiri mulai dari SD sampe sekarang. Bahasanya ringan dan cerita-ceritanya juga kocak. 

Yang bikin buku ini beda, pembaca nggak sekedar membaca tapi juga diajak menulis dan berpikir karena banyak selipan games dan kuis yang seru banget. Bab terakhir dari Benabook ini menurut aku yang paling menarik, karena berhubungan dengan mimpi. Suka banget sama kata-kata dan motivasi-motivasinya.

Semoga aja ya, suatu saat saya benar-benar bisa menggapai mimpi setinggi bintang di langit :)

Akhir kata, 

Teruslah berkarya bang! 

Cerita Kpop Guweh dan Paskah.

Gila mamen! Guweh sedang asik-asiknya menahan derita sakit perut bulanan dan hampir muntah-muntah belajar statistik, tiba- tiba dapet pencerahan macam ini..

OH MAMAH MOHON RESTU UNTUK MENIKAH DENGAN MEREKA!
Jadi, Infinite mendapat kemenangan pertamanya di Inkigayo! 오빠들, 축하해요!! Dan yang paling amazing, yang bikin aku nggak sanggup nahan diri buat *sekali lagi* nggak teriak-teriak kayak orang gila di depan laptop adalah.. kehadiran ketiga pacar guweh. Kim Kibum. Kim Myungsoo. Lee Hyunwoo. Seriusan.
Dan ini adalah wajah saya ketika melihat mereka di layar laptop..

Kurang lebih 11-12 sama orang ini..

"Kenapa dunia ini benar-benar tidak adil Mamah? KENAPAAAH?"

Mungkin kalo aku bisa ada di sana, ngeliatin si Hyunwoo nge MC, L sama Key tampil,  Sakit perut dan penderitaan akan lelah yang tak berkesudahan ini tidak berarti apa-apa. Apalagi dua bias paling tampan se-Kpop raya guweh berdiri berdampingan! Skip aja videonya ke 5:42 Bawa. Aku. Ke. Seoul. Sekarang. Titik maritik.
Oh  SELAMAT PASKAH untuk semua makhluk yang telah diselamatkanNya di bumi, untuk kamu kamu dan kamu.  YA KAMU! Terima kasih banyak atas penebusanMu ya Tuhan, dan dengan kebangkitanMu, aku percaya bahwa dunia ini senantiasa berada di bawah perlindunganMu. Tak pernah sekali pun Engkau meninggalkan kami. Terima kasih untuk cinta kasihMu yang tiada berkesudahan. I'm really grateful.
Dan mungkin gara-gara berkah Paskah, atau gara-gara doa saya sebelum tidur buat Tuhan, tadi malem saya mimpi indaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah banget.. Pada suatu hari, Seorang gadis yang sedikit tampan bernama Pauline bertemu idolanya yang berasal dari Korea Selatan. Sebut saja lelaki berambut pirang itu Key. Aku juga heran, kenapa mimpi aku akhir-akhir ini sangat mendetail sampai detail terkecilpun aku ingat. Key pake kaos warna hitam dan varsity navy + Snapback motif leopard. Auuuu...
Singkat cerita, kita saling berjumpa di coffee shop macam yang ada di drama-drama Korea gitu, ada Jonghyun juga ding di situ! Ceritanya aku lagi diajarin bahasa Korea. Terus juga sempet nanya-nanya sama mereka kalo mereka deket nggak sama group lainnya, Infinite misalnya. Dan mereka bilang deket sama beberapa member aja. Waktu itu aku bilang ke mereka "Ini sungguh kayak mimpi (ya emang cuma mimpi -___-) akhirnya aku bisa ketemu kalian!" Abis gitu si Key bilang "Tenang aja, kita kan masih bisa contact-contactan. Kamu ngelike semua fotoku di Instagram kan?"
JEDUARRRR!! DIA TAU! Abis itu yang aku inget cuma adikku masuk kamar dan teriak "WOI BANGUN WOI!" terus aku jadi kebangun. Kata-kata terakhir yang aku bilang "OPPA KAJIMA!!" Sambil terseok-seok di lantai cafe ngeliat Key sama Jonghyun pergi and not looking back. Mimpi selesai.
Ah, meskipun gitu saya tetap bahagia bisa mimpi indah setelah sekian lama tidak bisa bermimpi karena terlalu kecapekan dan tidur terlalu sebentar (Buat aku tidur 4-5 jam itu SANGAT sebentar, dan kalo tidur sangat sebentar ujung-ujungnya sepanjang hari saya pasti bete)
Yah.. Begitulah kira-kira.. Kapan ya saya bisa bener-bener ketemu mereka di Korea? Siapapun, ada yang tahu caranya dan mau bantu saya? *mewek*

Stadium akhir.

Maaf sekali lagi harus curhat karena aku ngerasa penyakit Kpopku sudah nggak bisa tertolong lagi.

Nggak tau apa yang ada di otakku, tapi *sigh* tolong saya atas obsesi ini!!

Saya takut jatuh, saya takut nggak bisa lagi melihat realitas..

I have faith but i don't think that it works.

Well, aku selalu berpikir suatu saat nanti pasti aku bisa pelan-pelan mewujudkan mimpiku. Banyak orang bilang mustahil, tapi kita semua nggak pernah tau kapan keajaiban terjadi, kapan Tuhan akhirnya bilang "Waktunya sudah tepat untukmu", kapan akhirnnya kita bukan nangis karena sedih mimpi kita terdengar menyedihkan tapi nangis karena bahagia, kapan akhirnya apel bisa tumbuh di pohon pisang. 

Some says purple, Some says violet.

Whatever people, whatever it is i'll get.

Tapi untuk sekarang semua terlalu menjemukan dan aku mulai merasa kalo aku sendiri membuat hidupku begitu menyedihkan. Menyedihkan?

Ya.

Dear Lord, what should i do?

cr: http://cathysquarepants.deviantart.com

Infinitely K-Pop

Setelah bersibuk-sibuk ria dengan segala kegiatan saya akhir-akhir ini di kampus, otak yang semakin tak terkontrol arahnya mau mikir ke mana, pelajaran kuliah yang semakin lama semakin membuat hidup saya menyedihkan, saya masih tidak bisa lepas dari satu hal..

KPOP.

Setelah puas menangis dan bertahan dengan mata panda selama kurang lebih 3 hari, efek galau masih belum dapat di hapuskan. Kenyataan bahwa aku nggak bisa menggunakan kesempatan nonton Music Bank dengan baik memang sungguh pahit. PAHIT.. BANGET.

Akhir-akhir ini juga saya jadi semakin tergila-gila sama Infinite, apalagi Myungsoo. Andai habis Music Bank bisa kubawa pulang dan kuculik dia di rumah. And guess what, March is awesomely daebak! SHINee comeback, Infinite comeback, David Archuleta new album. Gila saya benar-benar ingin beli semuanya, tapi DUIT GUWEH..

Sedih ya..

TRAUMA. Jaman sekarang ya, kalo orang Surabaya bilang jek usum ta (apa masih jamannya) nipu lewat online shop? Guweh stress mamen, duit 160 ribu melayang ditelan penipu. Emang sih, mau diapain lagi, cuma aku sangat-sangat-super-duper-hyper puingin album SHINee Dream Girl. At least, kalo mau nipu kirimin yang bajakan kek apa kek, ini main tinggal lari mana masih bisa caci maki customer. Eh salah, KORBAN BUKAN CUSTOMER. Bete saya.

Buat semua, KPopers jangan tergiur album harga murah ya. Lain kali mending beli yang agak mahal tapi sellernya bener-bener trusted. Saya beneran belajar banyak dari kejadian ini. Uang dan dream girl semua melayang :')

Hati-hati sama seller album Kpop dengan nama "Music Connection" atau "Musiq Conneqtion" pemiliknya namanya Rendy, pas baca-baca di kaskus sih katanya anak UPH 2009. GAK PEDULI! Mau UPH, UPI, UPJ.. KIRIMIN ALBUM PESENAN AKU! :'( 

Dia pake nama samaran kalo di sms, Angel. Heran, masih berani jadi bencong juga ini orang. Udah banyak yang ketipu bahkan ada yang sampe jutaan, jadi hati-hati ya. FBnya udah di hapus, berdoa sajalah semoga ia mendapat ganjaran yang sepantasnya. Sedih, tiap kali mau beli album original SHINee selalu aja ketipu :'(

Tapi, kalo emang ditakdirkan buat punya, suatu saat pasti bisa dapet penggantinya kan? :')

WHY.

OH WOOOOOOORLD! I'm so mad and so sad now. I can't watch music bank and it drives me crazy. I really want to meet Infinite and SHINee. Seeing them just arrived in airport trough fanpage just give me another pain. We're like in the same country, timezone, language and just separated by freakin' cruel distance. Why can't i watch them?

Am i able to meet them one day in Korea when i feel so pessimistic about that? :(

Vanished.

Terribly sad. There's no other thing that crossed my mind right now, except the fact that i'm so broken hearted.

I've tried every chances that i can take to win Music Bank Jakarta ticket. Still, i don't get it. I guess i already give up. I laughed at myself, looking at how silly i am doing all this stuffs. I know this is an effort, yet it turns to something effortless.

I can't tell the universe how much i want it. I didn't ask people to look pity on me. I simply want it. NOW.

Never expect something which not affordable. That seriously break you apart.

Yet, i still have faith. He has a bigger and better plan for me. Now it's just not my time. Maybe He laughed at me now, He still didn't sure about my effort and how much i want it. He wanted to see more of me. He wanted me to do something even more. Soon enough, i will cry.. not because i'm desperate like this, but because i'm happy that i finally meet them. Face to face. Hand in hand.

But now.. It's just good bye.

Congratulation, Jes!

So, i've been watching Asia's Next Top Model lately. Today is the last episode of this season and we got our first ever winner,  Jessica Amornkuldilok CONGRATULATION!!
After the last episode aired, we have a live chat with the winner on ustream. Guess what happen on 01:57.. SKIP SKIP SKIP

Video streaming by Ustream

Oh la la la~ She called my name :')

You know, I always get over excited when a celebrity notice me.

Am i being too cheesy?

Ah~ let's see if one day i could make everything seems closer to what i've been dreaming lately..

If you love it, You can do it ♥ 

- Jessica Amornkuldilok

Wildflower

Sometimes i questioned myself, why i was born like this and why i had this way of life.
If most of the girls out there portraying themselves as a flower, maybe i'm just a wildflower.
My presence is not expected, grow up everywhere i want.

But still looks the same from afar..

cr:  wildflowerfashion.blogspot.com

I found it weird,
How i think that hanging out with boys is much more convenient rather than with girls.

No need to be someone else, no need to act pretty, no need to be pampered.

Girls are just girls, they use all their feeling but hardly understand other's feeling.

It's not that i'm 100% not doing that, but sometimes that excessive attitude is just irritating.

I'm just another normal girl,
but i have different point of view.
They are proud of having red-sole heels, i'm proud just having my sneakers.
They are proud to look pretty everywhere they go, what kind of girl doesn't want to look pretty?
They are proud eating in a fine dining restaurant, having a simple meal is more than enough for me..

They said i'm a freak,

maybe.

Taemin and Jonghyun's Dream Girl

Okay i am late.

So, Taemin photo teaser for "Dream Girl" already published yesterday and since i'm still busy with some campus program i cannot catch  up really fast. But let's get into the photo..

One word, AMAZING!

I really love the "Donkey in the cloud" concept. I got to be honest that i started to love Taemin even more since BoA's "Disturbance" MV because he is really manly!

And i love the converse sneakers, really my style. His pants is also something to die for. I think i have to give all my thumbs up for SHINee's stylist. They've turned SHINee into a trendsetter. I don't know how much longer do i have to wait for this album to come out.. I wish i could have one, eventhough it means i have to lose quite huge amount of money because we all know, SM Album's is NOT cheap, sometimes even not affordable for someone like me..

Hiks..

And today, Jonghyun photo teaser were also published..

Oh hi, Key! I can still see you at the back!

Gorgeous as always. Despite of his charming voice, i think he's getting more and more appealing. What i love the most is his hairstyle. From all of the hairstyle he had, i think this one is the best. LOVE IT!

No Matter How Far

No matter how far, i will stay still waiting for you..

No matter how far as long as we're steppin' on the same ground,

I still believe that one day i could meet you

Your album title is so simple, but means a lot to most of us.

We miss David.

We simply miss to watch you perform on stage,

We miss your dorky video blog,

We miss your warm voice,

We miss your giggles,

We miss you.

Cannot wait to have it. Hope it is available in Indonesia! Best luck for your mission, D!

 Less than a year left and i will always hope to meet you soon!

#DA2014

Key's Dream Girl

I can do anything, eventhough i'm so friggin' daym tired right now as long as it is for SHINee.

I was like watching an oasis in the middle of a desert. SHINee's back AGAIN! Full length Album!

And the best part is..

Jjan~

The first photo teaser published is Key. Oh i'm mesmerized yeah! The picture of you!

Another blonde Key. He's getting more and more stunning each time. The freckles, i know it's fake but it suits him well. HE IS TOTALLY HOT. His eyes, though it's just contact lens but it give me feel like he was look like a mixed Korean-European which was so Key who's really into Western style.

I can't wait for the other photo teaser and imagine how manly Taemin will look like, Onew, Jonghyun and Minho. I wish i could buy the album as soon as it released on February 19th, or i guess i should keep my red-pocket-money for this..

Anything for SHINee!

Say Goodbye, S.

This is the first time i show you my all time favorite shoes. Simple broken-white converse sneakers, S. Though it is really dirty and old , but it has been together with me since my 1st grade of High School. But this is time to say goodbye...

Okay, it's gonna be weird.
But, I cannot bear it because I love it (?)

Goodbye my lover, Goodbye my friend,
You have been the one, you have been the one for me..

I will let you go, if it's the right time for you to go..

I'll go find a baby-you, a new you soon. Thanks for protecting my feet for almost 3 years.

I LOVE YOU, S :')

[Review] BoA - Disturbance (그런 너)

안녕하세요 여러분들!!  Back with Dr. Elizabeth Pauline, M.Kpop here. I was spazzing really hard this morning when i know that BoA sunbaenim's latest music video featuring Taemin *SCREAM* finally out. Actually it was last night, but i noticed it just today. What a shame, i'm late. Dang.
So, let's just get straight into the point..
The photo teaser

For me, the photo teaser deserve 4.5 out of 5. Why? Because Taemin is there! I really love the concept of they being a lover, but i don't know why maybe since we all know that BoA and Taemin have such a quite large age gap so i see it more like sunbae-hoobae relationship rather than lover. However, this photo teaser already give me a shock because despite the elegance of BoA, we can all see that Taemin is becoming a real man now. HE'S A REAL MAN! Not someone you say pretty all the time, not someone who even prettier than any other girl groups, not someone who looks so perfect wearing hair extension. HE'S A MAN.
The music
4.5 out of 5. The intro is really catchy. I could imagine myself sitting in a cafe, while it's raining outside. Such a great feeling. This also have a deep meaning, capturing confused relationship between a lover. Really BoA's style.
The dance
I haven't see it yet. So i'll update later, but i guess it would turn out awesome since SM really passionate about creating amazing choreography for their artists lately.
The music video
Kinda like "Only One" MV? Yes, sort of. But the concept is really nice. What i love most about the MV is the ending with "Let time go by" or "Go back to the past". When i first watch it, i was like "What is this?" and i do think that this is so creative, different from other MV though when it airs on television i'm sure that this part won't be aired like what they do in YouTube. That's why i give 5 out of 5 for the effort for making such an interesting music video. The acting of BoA and Taemin, their chemistry is also stunning.
This MV is also different from most SM's music video. Why? BECAUSE FINALLY THEY SHOOT OUT OF THE STUDIO. I mean, most of SM's artist shoot their music video in a huge indoor studio stuffed with lighting and yeah.. let's just say F(x)'s Electric shock, SNSD's Genie and I got a boy, Super Junior's Mr. simple, Acha, Bonamana, Sorry sorry, SHINee's Lucifer, EXO's History, TVXQ's Keep your head down, Humanoid, Catch Me, if you really pay attention to it they have a lot of background similarities. But this music video is different.
Yet still, what's wrong with Everysing ads? It ruins everything.
SHINee Taemin Appearance
Okay people, i know i should talk about BoA here since this is her music video, but what makes this video even more interesting is Taemin. I was alone in my room, spazzing about him. As a Shawol, i'm so proud watching him already grow up as a man. I'm a totally proud fan. He looks really manly.
There's a scene where he's going to kiss BoA and i was like holding myself not to scream. HE LOOKS SMEXY. He proves that he's a man. Don't ever call him pretty again, Taemin has changed! He's changed!! At the scene where Taemin cry i even shout to myself "Oppa, don't cry don't cry i'm here. If BoA unnie hurt your feeling let me just protect you, let me just be with you". LOL. So stupid but this is true story. K-pop truly messing my life.
Over all, once again i give this 4,5 out of 5. Thanks to Taemin, he makes this video even more perfect! Enjoy the music video!  (Pssst.. don't forget to choose whether you want to let go or go back to the past at the end of the video)


Dr. Elizabeth Pauline, M.Kpop

Forget.

When you're hoping too much yet the situation driving you nuts

You just want to stop

Slowly forget

Cause it only gives you pain

All those dreams buried.

Not sure how to move on and let go because everything seem useless.